I Can't be Your Friend
by Rogue Amazon Boo
Summary: Sometimes friendship can be the most painful thing in the world.


**_This might come as quite a shock--But I've given it a lot of thought--This thing that's come between us--Can't be ignored--I've taken all I can--This is where its gotta end--Cause I can't be your friend…anymore._**

**_I can't be accused--Of not being there for you--How many nights have you shown up--At my door--I hope you understand--That this wasn't in my plans--But I can't be your friend anymore._**

**_And it's killing me to know you--Without, having a chance to hold you--And all I wanna do is show--How I really I feel inside--You can run to me--You can laugh at me--Or you can walk right out that door--But I can't be your friend anymore._**

**_So baby now it's up to you--Do I win or do I lose--Will my heart fly--Or lie broken on the floor--Well take me as I am--Cause I wanna be your man--But I can't be your friend anymore._**

**_And it's killing me to know you--Without having a chance to hold you--And all I wanna do is show you--How I really feel inside--You can run to me--You can laugh at me--Or you can walk right out that door--But I can't be just friends anymore._**

**_We can't be just friends…anymore._**

_**I Can't be Your Friend--Rushlow**_

**I Can't be Your Friend **

**By**

**Rogue Amazon Boo**

Phil couldn't do this again. He couldn't stand by and watch her go out with yet another insensitive asshole knowing that when all was said and done it would be his shoulder she would be crying on; knowing that it would be his arms she would seek to lessen the pain of yet another bruise inflected on her tender heart. Angry, Phil ruthlessly hit the glowing red ball of energy created by his laser squash game against the wall of the shed. It whizzed and whirled only to come back for more.

Phil knew that if his mood continued he might just be out here playing all night long. Gritting his teeth, he sent the energy ball airborne again only to almost miss it as it came back. His emotions were turbulent and it was affecting his game. Banking down the anger, he caught the laser ball one last time, turned off the game, and sank to the ground exhausted.

His glove-covered hands went into his sweat-dampened hair as he curled in upon himself.

It had been three years since the time machine had crash-landed in this century. Three years of calling Keely Teslow his best friend.

It wasn't enough anymore.

Phil pulled himself up off the ground and went to sit at the picnic table in the middle of his back yard. He studied the wood, looking for answers in the weathered grain, but found only his aching heart.

Eighteen years old and here he was in love with his best friend. It was almost pathetic. Phil sighed and hung his head.

He didn't know quite when it had happened. Here he was going along, trying to be an average teenage boy growing up in the twenty-first century and he meets this girl. At first they don't really seem to have much in common. She's popular and he digs math, but they found a connection. Eventually their friendship progressed to the point where the fact that she didn't know the truth about him made him physically ill. So he told her, and watched sadly as she ran away from him.

And just when he never expected her to speak to him again, she comes back and tells him that he is her best friend, and that is all that matters.

She accepted him as he was, not just the stranded boy from one hundred years in the future, but him, Phil Diffy. Through her he made other friends, other connections, and pretty soon he started to think that he had found home in this place; the least likely place of all.

Then he started to notice things, small things like her smile, her voice, her laugh, her eyes, and the way she moved. The small things gave way to the bigger things. Things like, what could maker her cry, how important her dreams were, how she could love, really love, completely and selflessly.

She barreled through life full of restless energy and an open heart. Was it really any wonder that somewhere along the way he fell in love with her?

And every time someone took her heart and broke it Phil was there to help her glue back the pieces.

He just couldn't do this anymore, not anymore, and he was going to have to tell her. It was either that or go insane.

With a sigh he pulled the laser squash gloves off of his hands and left them on the table.

* * *

Keely's date with Justin had not gone well and all she wanted to do was fall into bed. She was thankful that she had decided to take her own car and meet him at the movies instead of having him pick her up as previously planned. It made ditching him easier. Exhausted, she had just put her key into the deadbolt when she heard someone softly calling her name.

"Keely," Phil said quietly.

Confused, she turned and saw her best friend standing a few feet away from her. He looked terrible. His normally well styled hair was all over the place, like he had repeatedly run his hands through it, and his jeans had stains on them. He looked like he had been skidding on the ground. She wrinkled her nose.

"Phil? What are you doing over here? It's midnight, and why do you look like you just played football against the Raiders and lost?" He ignored the last part of the question and answered the first.

"Keely, I need to talk to you," he said. She stared at him, incredulous.

"Now?" He nodded, holding his breath in anticipation of her reply. She shot him a perplexed look, opened her door, and motioned him into the house.

"All right, come in. Try to keep it down though. My mom is asleep."

Phil walked into the house, wishing that he had thought to take a shower before staking out her yard. It was too late now though, and well, after he said what he was about to say he wasn't sure it would matter much anyway.

"Phil, why are you such a mess?"

"I was playing laser squash," he answered by way of explanation. Keely's eyes went wide.

"For how long?" He grimaced. She knew him too well and if he answered this question she would know something was up. Still he had no choice.

"Seven hours."

Keely's eyes went even wider and she let out a low whistle.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" she asked, fearfully.

She wouldn't be so wary but Phil had just played laser squash for seven hours, and judging by his appearance he had pushed himself towards exhaustion. He didn't do that unless something was wrong, but for the life of her she couldn't figure out what it could be. He didn't answer right away either; instead he paced into the kitchen. Nervous, she followed him. He seemed extra sensitive to her presence right at the moment, so he turned as soon as she joined him.

"Maybe you should sit down," he suggested. At this point Keely felt panic well in her gut and she'd had enough of him dancing around whatever it was that had him so agitated.

"No Phil, I'm not sitting down. Now tell me what the heck is going on with you? You're freaking me out."

To Phil she sounded on the verge of hysteria, but he found that he couldn't seem to get his mouth to form the words he wanted it to. She took his silence as a bad omen and jumped to the only obvious reason he would be acting this strange.

"Oh God, your going back aren't you? That's what you came to tell me. Your going back to the future."

A sob clawed at her thought but she refused to release it; after all she knew this day would come and she thought she would be able to handle it, but she was wrong. Absentmindedly, she started rubbing her chest; her heart hurting.

"I knew you would have to some day, but I never thought…" She couldn't continue. Finally, Phil seemed to recover himself just as she burst into tears.

"Keely!" he exclaimed.

She shook her head, and turned away from him. Phil went to her and took her head in his hands, forcing her to face him.

"Keely, Keely! Stop, shhh, no it's not, that's not. I'm not leaving."

He watched his best friend's kaleidoscope eyes fill with understanding, and suddenly she hit him on the shoulder, hard.

"Don't scare me like that ever again," she exclaimed angrily. Phil rubbed his sore shoulder, glaring at her.

"Well sheesh, I didn't think you were going to jump to these crazy conclusions."

It was Keely's turn to start pacing.

"Well, what was I suppose to think? You come over here at twelve in the morning, looking like you have gone through a war, tell me you played laser squash for seven hours and act like your world is about to end. What else would I think?"

Phil sighed, dejected.

"Yeah, of course, what would you think," he said and she stared at him, confused.

"So, why did you come over here?"

Phil took a deep breath.

"Keely, I can't keep doing this. I don't have the fortitude." Now his best friend looked really confused.

"Can't keep doing what?"

He wouldn't look at her and it didn't seem like he was going to answer.

"Phil, you can't keep doing what?" He took another deep breath and met her eyes.

"I can't be your friend anymore Keel," he said, softly.

Keely was stunned and the pain in her heart was back, but this time she didn't think she could rub it away. Phil didn't want to be friends with her anymore? Just what brought this on? She had thought they were doing so well.

"Phil, I don't," she choked, "I don't understand." He raked a nervous hand through his hair. Tears started to gather in her eyes.

"I…I can't be friends with you Keel because I…Rat snacks this is hard. I think, I know…I'm in love with you." After he got the hard part out the rest just seemed to flow out of him with the force of a raging river. "When you told Justin today that you would go out with him tonight it was the last draw. I have stood by you as your friend through so many self absorbed jerks that have gone and stomped on your heart, that I knew I couldn't do it again. Not when the only place I want to have you is in my arms and in my heart. So believe me, I know this isn't what you counted on and I know that you probably don't feel that way about me, but I just can't keep pretending that you are just my friend...not anymore."

Keely was stunned, never had she suspected that Phil felt this way. He was really good at keeping parts of himself hidden, but she couldn't believe…

"I…I have to think," she said finally.

Phil nodded solemnly, as his friend sunk down into the nearest kitchen chair, his heart in tatters. She looked like a shell-shocked survivor from Hiroshima. It was all the answer he needed.

"I'll let myself out," he said, broken. She didn't seem to hear him. More depressed than he had ever felt in his life, Phil hit the street and started for home.

So this was it, the end of a three-year friendship. This was what it felt like when your heart broke. Looking at the ground he suddenly felt exhausted and all he wanted was his bed, which is why he didn't hear his name being called.

"Phil!" A female voice cried a second time. This time he heard, and stopped.

"Keely?" he said, confused. She was running towards him and before he knew what was happening she had thrown her arms around his neck and pulled him into a desperate hug. Phil hugged her back, refusing to get his hopes up, but enjoying the feel of her in his arms.

After too short a time she pulled away so she could look at him.

"I love you too," she whispered softly. Phil started, completely stunned, but slowly his lips pulled into a warm smile, complete with dimples. Keely was smiling as well.

"Really?" he asked. Not daring to breath. She smiled wider.

"Really," she said.

Phil's liquid brown eyes drop to her lips, the full contours of which his mind had memorized, and ever so slowly he kissed her, paying extra attention to her full bottom lip. He broke away after a moment gently nipping the soft skin there. Keely was shaking.

"Ta-dowzer," she exclaimed. He grinned dropping his hands to her waist.

"You can say that again," he quipped.

"Ta-dow…." Phil kissed her again, this time coaxing her lips apart so he could explore the rest of her mouth. His tongue darted in to battle with hers; she tasted like warmth and home. It was quite a bit later before he broke away, and he only did so because he needed to breath.

"So," she breathed when she could finally speak. "I guess this means we can't be friends anymore?" He smiled again.

"No, I don't think we can," and he kissed her yet again. Keely's last coherent thought was that she definitely didn't mind as long as they could do this on a regular basis.


End file.
